Loner

Im the type who
Spent time with books and gadgets,
Home 24/7,
Not having much friend to  hang out,
By then im a loner.

Personality that anyone wouldnt even want to have,
 An Introvert,
To start a conversation with anyone,
Is indeed very hard for me.

I dont really talk about my problem to people,
Because I know,
They didnt really want to hear about it,
Even my family.

I lost my father at the age of nine,
It leaves a deep scar in my heart,
It affects me emotionally,
I can't control myself when I am mad,
So I tends to act irrationally.

Not like anyone else,
My family is my only friend at home,
I dont play with my neighbour,
Because an introvert like me doesnt get along with people very well,
Ive tried to not be shy,
But I guess,
I overthink afraid that they might be bored with me.

Someone said  that I friend with a lame people,
What am I supposed to feel?,
They are the only friends that I am comfortable to friend with,
But its okay because for me,
Besides my family,
They've cherished my life.

Others might look at me like Im a loser,
But I dont need thousand friends to be happy,
All I need is a family and trusted friends.

I do feel lonely most of the times,
I know I need to change,
For the sake of better life.

I need to help myself,
Now or never.


What am I supposed to do? Where do I start?





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